When I first came to Chicago on October 14, 2007 i...
Didn't know what to expect
See im from charlotte, NC, which thinks its a big city,
and i swear our motto is "Were better than Raliegh"
But even with our aspirations of being a large city
we still had the close personal relationships that come with the territory of living down the street from a cow named bessie
And then Chicago
I went from backyards to postage stamps
From trees to condos
From grass to pavement
And those weird graystone houses were just...
Wierd
Even our bums were cleaner in charlotte
I HATED Chicago
My first week in chicago i went to Navy Pier
I saw this big greyhound busload of kids
They looked nice
They looked friendly
They looked like people i could get along with
And i made my first Chicagoan friends,
And i thought, maybe, this wouldnt be so bad
3 hours later it was time for them to go
I ask "Where are ya going?"
They say "Back home....
to Charlotte, NC"
.... It was a tour bus

The reason i came to Chicago in the first place was actually my mother.
My childhood was filled with extension cords, lamps, irons, belts, the cat...
see in my mothers hands anything could become a lethal weapon
And it was funny, cuz i never learned how to duck
I wore the same, confused "aren't you my mother?" expression from age 2-15
Finally, when im 16 DSS decides to "Rescue Me" and put me in foster care, which caused my paternal grandparents to decide to grow a conscious and allow me to slave for them
But
they just wanted their perfect ideal of a grandson,
Not the Semi-perfect, MaJorly flawed me they got so
they sent me to Chicago to live with my dad
And maybe...
that's the real reason i didnt like chicago
Because i waited....

.... and waited
.... and waited

For 3 days, 4 hrs, and 28 minutes at the airport and he
never showed up
MYSPACE SAVED MY LIFE
on my entire friendslist
i had 1 friend in chicago
who wasnt even on my top, and he let me live with him
but, even though 9 people lived in that house


... I had never felt so alone in my life
and i HATED it
i hated the gnawing, gaping hole in my broken heart
i hated the rivers that carved my cheeks into canyons
I HATED how i wasnt worth ANYTHING to him

So..
I changed

i became someone wiser
someone friendlier
someone nicer, stronger, better
Someone who didn't have this Wall Of Pain, separating him from the rest of the world
And i became popular
And i Made Friends
and my heart started to heal and i began to feel
That Maybe
Chicago wasnt the worst thing in my life
And i started to feel the rhythm in the broken pavement
Shattered Glass
and Dingy streets
I started to see the Beauty in the graffitti
I became lost in this sea of people and the kaliedoscope of culture and i began to lose my identity...


.... or maybe i found it
See i became Mexican,
I became white
I became Black, asian, greek
I became someone who saw that everybody has something to share
That there were people with pain greater than mine, and my heart healed through them, and i found my happiness with them
i was home
and as the Tribune replace the Observer
and as 55 degrees became shortsleeves weather
I look around an realize
Chicago taught me to find the happiness
in myself